Married couples rarely disagree about wanting financial security, but agreeing on the goal is different from working together to achieve it. Without a shared plan, even couples with similar priorities can end up working toward different outcomes.

In guidance published on October 21, Vanguard highlighted three financial priorities couples should coordinate: paying down debt, building an emergency fund, and funding shared goals.

Ameriprise Financial’s 2024 research and Kansas State University’s 2012 findings highlight why those details matter. Issues that may demand a couple’s attention range from retirement-planning gaps to financial factors associated with divorce.

Each goal offers couples a practical self-check to reveal whether their financial conversations have moved beyond broad agreement.

Also read: Unhappy couples are staying married longer because divorce is a luxury

Debt, emergency reserves, and a household budget top Vanguard’s priority list

Vanguard’s framework gives married couples three targets that build on each other, each requiring the kind of specific conversation that broad agreement tends to skip.

Eliminating debt clears the way for shared milestones

Vanguard identifies debt elimination as the first financial goal because outstanding balances compete directly with shared milestones such as homeownership and education savings. 

Carrying high-interest debt while trying to build savings forces couples to work against themselves, and paying it off first frees up cash flow for the remaining goals.

An emergency fund absorbs unexpected costs 

Building an emergency fund is Vanguard’s second goal, with the firm recommending three to six months of living expenses in a liquid account funded through recurring automatic transfers. 

Without this buffer, a single unplanned cost can force new borrowing that undoes months of debt-repayment progress and restarts the cycle the first goal was designed to break.

A unified savings plan turns agreement into action 

Vanguard’s third goal is to create a unified long-term savings plan, which means building a household budget and committing a defined portion of each partner’s paycheck to shared priorities such as retirement or a child’s education. 

The emphasis on a single joint plan reflects Vanguard’s position that parallel individual efforts leave couples without a clear picture of where they stand as a household.

Ameriprise data reveals a gap between couples’ confidence and coordination

The Ameriprise Financial study puts hard numbers behind the coordination gap that Vanguard’s three goals are designed to close. 

The firm surveyed 1,510 American couples with at least $100,000 in investable assets as part of its Couples, Money & Retirement research, with primary respondents aged 45 to 70 who were either within 10 years of retirement or had retired within the last decade.

More Vanguard:

• Vanguard spotlights Roth IRA trap hiding in your income
• Vanguard’s global ETF flags a stark shift for investors
• Vanguard uncovers the real cost of early Social Security

While 91% of the couples surveyed reported sharing similar financial values, a substantial number still hadn’t agreed on retirement savings targets, lifestyle spending, or financial support for family members. Twenty-four percent had not agreed on how much they needed to save for retirement or how much to give to children and grandchildren. 

Another 25% held different expectations for hobby and travel spending in retirement, and 22% disagreed on general lifestyle spending.

Ameriprise found the disconnect runs deeper: 41% of couples surveyed lacked a financial plan, and 52% had not established an estate plan. 

An additional 39% had not determined how they would make up for the loss of their paychecks upon retirement, which deepened the planning challenge for couples approaching that transition.

Ameriprise finds that despite shared financial values, many couples lack agreement on retirement savings, spending priorities, estate planning, and income strategies.

Juliane Sonntag / Getty Images

Hidden accounts and delayed conversations add financial strain for couples

Ameriprise’s research uncovered that 14% of respondents kept a financial account hidden from their partner, with balances in those secret accounts frequently exceeding $10,000. 

Kansas State University research found that financial disagreements predict marital instability even among couples with sufficient resources. 

Marcy Keckler, a certified financial planner and former senior vice president of marketing and financial advice strategy at Ameriprise, tied those findings by Ameriprise to a broader pattern of deferred planning. 

<strong>Couples who are delaying important conversations or who are unable to communicate openly about money tend to have more difficulty planning for the future together. Thankfully, there is a lot they can learn from other couples who’ve navigated the path to retirement smoothly</strong>.

The Kansas State study reinforced that point, finding that money arguments tend to be more intense and longer-lasting than other marital conflicts, suggesting the cost of avoiding financial conversations compounds over time.

How couples can build financial alignment

Keckler recommended that couples who feel overwhelmed by financial conversations start by choosing a qualified financial adviser together. Participants in the Ameriprise study ranked that step among their top strategies for reaching financial compromise with a spouse.

Kansas State research showed that financial disputes early in a marriage were associated with lower relationship satisfaction years later, which can compound into further financial strain.

Nearly three-quarters of the couples surveyed by Ameriprise had been together more than two decades. These longstanding couples identified open communication about financial goals, healthy conflict resolution, and jointly choosing a financial adviser as their top three strategies for financial alignment.

Couples can put Vanguard’s recommendations into practice by agreeing on debt-repayment targets, setting emergency-savings goals, and establishing regular contributions toward retirement and other shared priorities.

Financial alignment requires more than shared intentions. Couples need specific dollar amounts, agreed-upon deadlines, and regular conversations to keep their financial plans on track.

Related: Schwab says your wedding could wreck key financial goals