Studies have shown that January is one of the busiest times of the year for divorce filings
Broadcast Retirement Network’s Jeffrey Snyder discusses holiday stresses and the pressures they can put on families with Jacobson Mediation Group’s Alex Jacobson.
Jeffrey Snyder, Broadcast Retirement Network
This morning on BRN, while winding down for the holidays, many wind up for divorce and joining me now to discuss this Alex Jacobson is the founder of the Jacobson Mediation Group. Alex, Happy New Year. Great to see you.
Thanks for joining us again this morning.
Alex Jacobson, Jacobson Mediation Group
Happy New Year. And thank you.
Jeffrey Snyder, Broadcast Retirement Network
So January is a time of renewal. Typically the New Year is a time of renewal. But I found this so interesting.
January is also known as Divorce Month. Do tell. I mean, this is new to me, but I would imagine as someone in your profession, you probably know a lot about this.
Alex Jacobson, Jacobson Mediation Group
Yeah, you know, people end the year with spending holiday time with their family and strike their New Year’s resolutions and oftentimes say, I’m not doing this for another year. It’s not good for me. It’s not good for my children.
And I need to move on to the next phase of my life. And January happens to be the time of year that many people make that resolution and move forward with it.
Jeffrey Snyder, Broadcast Retirement Network
And I wonder if it’s just tied to being around people like, you know, there were a lot of people that I think got divorced during COVID. And I think it was, you know, when we’re when we’re partners with somebody else, and we’re going like ships in the night to our jobs. We don’t see that much of each other.
That was an opportunity to see a lot of each other. I wonder if it’s similar here as well.
Alex Jacobson, Jacobson Mediation Group
Sure. I mean, being with family and traveling and getting big meals together, it can be stressful. And if you’re not working together as a team, in the moments that are supposed to be joyous, then the challenging moments become that much more difficult.
But then the question is, is what do you do next? I’ve made this resolution. Now what?
And so, you know, from from my perspective, the first task is, and we’ve spoken about it before on your show, is to get your team together. And we’ve spoken about financial advisors and mental health professionals. As I mentioned, the quarterback of that team is your divorce lawyer.
And so step number one is go interview various divorce lawyers. They are not all created equal. You need to find out whose personality suits your own.
What kind of responsiveness are you going to get? Are you going to be working with a junior associate versus a partner? Maybe that’s good.
Maybe that’s bad. How fee sensitive are they? These are all types of questions that you need to ask in order to make sure that you are finding the lawyer who is the right fit for you.
Second question you might want to consider is, is your home going to need to be sold? Typically, it’s thought of that, you know, February is the beginning of the home selling season. And if that is the case that in your divorce, you’re going to be selling your home.
Maybe there is some work that needs to be done. Maybe you need to bring in a broker to make some recommendations as to things that you need to do to ready your home for sale. Those are some considerations to think of.
And the last point is sort of a balancing of what have we done at the end of the year in order to maintain the financial status quo? What maybe needs to change as we transition to separating one household into two? And what I mean by that is, do we have tax liabilities we need to take care of?
Are there contributions to savings plans that need to be made or college savings accounts? Those are things that are typically done at the end of the year that maybe you do or don’t want to do in this particular year, in consideration for financially disentangling yourselves and separating two households, excuse me, one household into two.
Jeffrey Snyder, Broadcast Retirement Network
And just to kind of follow up on that, I mean, I would imagine just listen to you kind of talk about that. Obviously, you have a great experience in guiding clients here. That attorney, that lawyer, that quarterback is probably the most important decision.
And let me just ask you in terms of the fee structure, you know, I’m not asking about fees in particular, but in terms of the fee structure, is it usually on a hourly basis? Is it a retainer basis? So if I find someone I like, what are the things I should be asking in terms of the types of fee structures that are out there?
Alex Jacobson, Jacobson Mediation Group
So, most often a divorce lawyer will take a retainer and deduct their hourly rate and whatever quarter hour increments or so that, you know, as he or she works on your case, you know, some questions to ask that individual. Is there different charges for court time versus office time? How will administrative staff be billing on my case?
What is the division of labor going to be between associates and partners? And what say do I have in the selection of those individuals and who’s going to be my point person, you know, when I need to speak to somebody immediately? Those are the types of questions that you want to ask to make sure it’s a good fit for you.
Jeffrey Snyder, Broadcast Retirement Network
Yeah. I mean, really, really important. And it doesn’t matter.
I mean, sometimes you can get along with a person of the same sex. You can get along with someone of a different sex. Is it more personality, empathy, and also don’t forget the fee structure?
Alex Jacobson, Jacobson Mediation Group
Absolutely. It’s sort of like dating. You just sort of know when you know, you know, it’ll click.
It’ll feel like the right choice.
Jeffrey Snyder, Broadcast Retirement Network
Yeah. And in terms of preparing yourself, let’s talk about one of the other steps, which I think is kind of preparing yourself to separate the households because that in itself has financial constraints to it, right? I mean, if you if you haven’t worked in your partner’s work, been the primary breadwinner, you may have to go back to work.
So there’s a lot of things you probably need to consider from a budget perspective, even during the time of separation, because they usually start with a separation first and then move into the divorce.
Alex Jacobson, Jacobson Mediation Group
I’m not familiar with the rules, but the answer is sometimes these are all obviously very big decisions. And I’ll use your example, you know, for an individual who’s been a stay at home parent managing the household, primarily the concept that he or she, after seven years, 10 years is going to just jump right back into the workforce. These things don’t happen overnight.
They’re big decisions. Your quarterback, your divorce lawyer is going to help you plan those transitions, what you should and shouldn’t be doing. It’s not all going to happen overnight.
There will be a clear strategic plan that you and your quarterback will put together to help you get to the end of your divorce process so that you can begin that next phase of your life.
Jeffrey Snyder, Broadcast Retirement Network
So let’s just talk about timelines for a second. I think we all understand that everything is unique to the individual and that couple that is going their separate ways. But from the point of hiring an attorney, signing the documentation to hire the attorney, agreeing to the retainer, paying the retainer, generally speaking, is there an estimated timeframe to getting to the end point, the divorce, knowing that there could be mediation, something that you specialize in, but there could be all these other parts to it.
But in a typical divorce, is it six months, a year, 12 months, 18 months to completion?
Alex Jacobson, Jacobson Mediation Group
Spoken like a true lawyer, I will say it depends.
Jeffrey Snyder, Broadcast Retirement Network
It depends. There you go.
Alex Jacobson, Jacobson Mediation Group
It depends. I mean, how agreeable or not are the two individuals? How complex are their financial situations?
What are the custody or parenting matters that are going to need to be tackled? There is no set duration. I think if you’re litigating, a year to 18 months is a conservative good guess.
If you’re mediating south of a year is absolutely doable. So it very much depends case to case.
Jeffrey Snyder, Broadcast Retirement Network
And it probably also depends, Alex, where you’re domiciled, where you live, because every state, you’re in Illinois, I believe, they have different roles perhaps than in Texas or in Delaware or in Maryland, where I’m from.
Alex Jacobson, Jacobson Mediation Group
Yes, absolutely.
Jeffrey Snyder, Broadcast Retirement Network
Yeah, so it all needs to be taken into consideration. Lastly, let’s just talk about the children, because depending on their age, this is a big, it’s not only an upheaval for the parents, but if you do have children, there’s a lot you have to think about in terms of getting the kids, I should say, to school, taking them for holidays, right? These are things and big decisions that have to be made.
Alex Jacobson, Jacobson Mediation Group
Very important decisions. And, you know, doing it post-winter break when kids are back in school and you’re in a bit more of a routine can often be easier than when they’re running around the house and there’s no set schedule. And so that’s why, another reason why, going back to your initial question, January happens to be a very popular month for beginning the divorce process.
And then ideally, you’re in some more settled state by the time the school year ends and summer begins, and it’s an inflection point for kids and oftentimes an easier time to transition.
Jeffrey Snyder, Broadcast Retirement Network
Well, Alex, it’s always great to see. And one last question, I say this tongue in cheek, have you ever had to mediate a relationship or divorce and separate out mileage?
Alex Jacobson, Jacobson Mediation Group
Absolutely.
Jeffrey Snyder, Broadcast Retirement Network
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